8537 S. Redwood Road, West Jordan, UT

Monthly Archives: February 2014

Family Recovery: Part 1

Posted on by Posted in Addiction

Hands connectingToo often the dependent person – the person struggling with addiction, becomes the focus of the recovery process. This makes sense as it is their behavior/choices that are destructive, life threatening and possibly fatal. While it is the dependent person’s responsibility to maintain sobriety, their support system also needs guidance and information on how to heal and move forward as part of their own self-care, separate from the recovery process of the dependent person.

In our experience working in substance abuse treatment centers, both residential and intensive outpatient settings, there are opportunities for friends and families to be involved. We have heard many times, however, that family members and loved ones wish they had opportunities to connect and learn on an on-going basis about addiction, recovery, and how to improve their own mental health and increase their happiness regardless of the choices the dependent person may make. It is a difficult dynamic because we care about the person with the addiction and we recognize we can’t control their choices. Ultimately, all we can do is learn how to be healthy, happy, and how to support our loved one without feeding into the disease dynamic and/or taking it upon ourselves to “save” or “fix” them.

In the coming weeks leading up to the beginning of the Families in Recovery Workshop we will be blogging about the following topics:

1. Fundamentals of Addiction and Recovery
2. Understanding Co-Dependency and Enabling
3. Healthy Boundaries
4. Addressing Fear and Anxiety

We will introduce these topics and their relationship to the recovery process for both the dependent person and their support system.

Addiction is scary – like a passenger on a runaway train, we feel a total lack of control about the outcome. If you have not been involved in education or therapy as part of a loved one’s recovery process you might never have heard that a person’s recovery is COMPLETELY up to them. You didn’t cause them to have this disease, you can’t control their disease, and you can’t cure their disease. What you can do is take control of your own thoughts, feelings and behaviors to create more stability in your daily life and be at peace – even when the dependent person’s life is chaotic.

If you would like to learn more about these topics, please check in on our blog for updates. If you would like to explore attending our workshop or engaging in individual counseling, please contact us via email or phone.

Warmly,

Misty & Chris




Announcing 8-Week Workshop: Families In Recovery

Posted on by Posted in Addiction, Workshops


Families In Recovery Flyer 4-2014

To download a PDF of this flyer, please click the link below:

Families In Recovery Flyer 4-2014

 

 




Learning To Swim: Grief and Growth

Posted on by Posted in Grief, Relationships

grief pic


“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”   Vicki Harrison

No matter who you are, where you’re from, or what you do, there is one certainty in life: change. Often change comes in the form of a loss of some kind. Loss of a loved one, a job, a pet, a relationship, health, etc. Loss can also come as a result of trauma. We may lose our sense of safety, ability to trust others or ourselves, we may lose faith in people or a higher power.

All of these kinds of losses cause us pain, can challenge our identity, strain relationships and present distinct challenges that may feel overwhelming. There are some very important things to keep in mind as we go through different stages of healing after a life-altering experience.

1. Grief is painful, deeply personal and can be exhausting.

These points may sound obvious, but they are important to keep in mind. All grief hurts so don’t compare yours to someone else’s and decide you don’t have a right to be sad or that you (or they) “should be over it by now”. Grieving takes time, energy and effort, but healing is possible.

2. We all have the right to grieve in a way that works for us.

As long as we aren’t harming others, we get to decide what we need to heal. This means we may not feel like talking much about our loss, or we may want to talk a lot. We may feel overwhelmed, or it may pass more quickly than we expected. What matters is that we process the feelings brought on by the loss. If we push them down, ignore them, or cover them up with alcohol, drugs or other unhealthy coping mechanisms, they will continue to burden us and we will continue to be in pain until we deal with the loss.

3. No matter what your loss or trauma, grieving requires two things; you must face it and feel it.

This is the scariest part, at first. However, the beauty of this process is that after taking the first step or two we realize that facing our loss and acknowledging our new reality helps us begin to feel better. If we are unable or unwilling to take this step we can become stuck in our grief and we may suffer far longer than necessary.

Sadness, heartache, tearfulness, and exhaustion are very common during the grief process. Some prefer to go through this process on their own, others seek out support. Neither way is right or wrong. It is important though to make sure that grieving doesn’t bring about unsafe or unproductive thoughts, feelings or behaviors.

Here are some signs to watch for; if any of these arise, please seek out professional support:

A) Feelings of hopelessness or thoughts of suicide

B) Difficulty sleeping, eating or working

C) Frequent tearfulness

D) Use of alcohol or drugs to cope

E) Relationship problems

F) Anger outbursts

Grieving takes time, but the heartache can lessen, the burden lift and we can find joy again.

Warmly,

Chris




Leaping In

Posted on by Posted in Deep Thoughts

“You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.” Tina Fey, Bossypants

 

In life we can be limited by our fears and contained by the boxes we create for ourselves. Often standing on the edge is the space of paralyzation. People can create boxes for one another in society, but unless we buy into them they don’t have power over us. Much like the kid standing at the top of the waterslide, making the choice to leap, jump in, give in, let go releases us from the paralyzing fear. Life is a series of choices – choices are not inherently “good” or “bad”, they are just steps we take on the journey. We can become paralyzed with overthinking – interfering with our ability to experience growth and contentment.

Really, the question we should all be asking ourselves is: What do I want? Do I want to fit in the box? Make others happy? Find my voice? Do I want to just get by or do I want to thrive? By focusing on what I want – rather than what I want to avoid – I give myself a target on which to focus; a place to direct my energy.

Warmly,

Chris & Misty